Goodbye KittyRose
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: Life stinks. It stinks even more when the person you think of as family is lashed out against because of their failure. It stinks even more when you're autistic and don't get why people are lashing out at said person, let alone understand why people do anything period.


_Disclaimer – I don't own Voltron: Legendary Defender. This story is "Why? The Unanswered Question" from the POV of Keith, or at least one direction his POV could go.  
Note – I enjoy writing Keith and Shiro as brothers, but also writing Keith as being on the autism spectrum. The story is rated M for something one of the bullies accuses Shiro of, and also the attempted action offline said bully took which is implied. I choose to imply the action because the story is from third person narrative limited, and in Keith's mind the implications of said action did not fully register at the time._

 **Goodbye KittyRose**

The last words before checking out of reality were, "KittyRose is saying goodbye".

At one time, he'd found the online world a sanctuary from the problems in his life, but a way he could actually connect with people despite his inability to connect with people offline. In fact, Shiro introduced him to the gaming circuit, a way to escape from a past filled with fog and uncertainty, but the inability to speak to others in a verbal manner with ease. He found people who liked things he liked, but who didn't question any idiosyncrasy which might crop up in an online chat.

Add to this, nobody knew who he was.

He'd picked the name because he liked fuzzy animals and pretty flowers, and saw no problem with that, though Shiro had found the choice amusing. " _Don't you like kitties and roses to Shiro?_ "

" _Yes…_ "

At the garrison, everybody knew who he was, as he was the genius pilot who might surpass Shiro one day if only he could get his act together. People found his behavior cold, if not stuck up, yet Keith knew that wasn't who he was. Truth be told, he didn't know who he was, but the idea that he didn't _want_ to make friends was a lie. He wanted friends badly, but every time he tried, it ended badly. His idiosyncrasies always got in the way, either making it so that his so called friends would make fun of him, or take advantage of his naïve nature.

The only one who didn't though was Shiro.

Shiro though was his onii-chan, so looking out for each other made sense. That was one thing everyone didn't know, a secret that he felt was safe, only belonging to him and Shiro. Before joining the garrison, he'd made the mistake of telling people Shiro was his brother – and father and mother, only for an incident to occur, but the nagging feeling that they might _not_ be related to crop up. After all, their father randomly dumped Keith into Shiro's perfect life when he upped and disappeared, and Shiro had to learn every single one of his idiosyncrasies and how to cope with them. That was more than the rest of the Shirogane family.

And their last names weren't the same, so they couldn't be related, or so some of the kids form that incident said.

And what they said made sense. After all, the rest of the Shirogane family said the same thing. Keith was a random kid that Shiro's father found, or Keith was a child produced from an affair. It created a confusion, so saying Shiro was _like_ a brother worked far better in his mind, particularly since it meant he could easily say Shiro was also _like_ a dad. Saying, Shiro, was _like_ a mom though, that was a definite don't, though Shiro was never able to accurately explain _why_. Shiro was fine, and always, always told him, " _it doesn't matter if you're not my sibling by blood, you'll always be my little bro, okay?_ "

Over and over Shiro said it, yet he still wasn't sure.

Also, " _ignore the kids at the garrison Keith, they don't know you like I do._ "

He wasn't sure where he belonged, except to know that Shiro provided a secure place in his life, and honestly cared when nobody else did. The kids at the garrison said things, did things that would set him off, and Shiro would set him strait. They would have likely blamed _him_ had they known of the relation. Shiro could have had any mission he wanted but instead choose to go on the Kerberos mission, something which bothered a good deal of others at the Garrison, who asked why someone with his skill would choose a mission of scientific exploration over the many other careers. Keith knew though Shiro sacrificed a lot just so he could, at eighteen, gain legal guardianship but have some kind of security for his younger brother.

Yet the mission failed.

Shiro was blamed.

Not him, because the didn't know, but Shiro.

Messages popped up saying he was a has been.

Keith also couldn't help but try and defend the person who had always defended him, but he felt like he was sinking into a deep, dark hole that he couldn't escape from. On top of saying it was a good thing that Shiro had died, that he should go and die as well due to supporting the murderer. Shiro murdered the Holt family. The insults filled Shiro's message machine, echoing through the small place they shared. Even when it was filled, people still called. On line, both in the forum for Garrison students and the gaming community, Shiro was a murderer, and he was one as well for supporting him.

There was one person – lancelot1zurking – who kept trying to defend Shiro, but he also kept telling Keith, as KittyRose, to take a chill pill. A few times Keith had overstepped, retorting to the responses of "you go die" with "no, you". He'd also spouted off what others said was a conspiracy theory about how none of them were dead. He felt lost and alone. It was only a few days in, and everything was a complete mess.

Oh, and Mrs. Holt wanted to speak to him, but he didn't want to hear her blaming him as well. He at least didn't feel he would blame her, but to hear someone he came to look up to because Shiro did say it was Shiro's fault wasn't something he wanted either.

Someone at school finally figured out that KittyRose was him, and started private messaging him.

" _What kind of fag are you, picking a user name like KittyRose. It makes sense that you would defend Takashi Shirogane, as you were his pet. Actually, that makes a lot of sense, the user name, as you're his personal sex toy. This has been going on since, what? Were you thirteen? Longer even? Doesn't that make him a pedophile? He's one sick dude, but you're also sick of letting him fuck you._ "

He didn't know who the person was.

Until they cornered him in a place where he was alone.

He wasn't sure what happened, beyond the fact they touched him and he went off.

He then found himself in the shrink's office, the garrison psychiatrist asking him what had occurred. He couldn't speak, much, in the same manner, he couldn't speak when he first met Shiro, his words having locked up. Iverson went into how he shouldn't let Shiro's death get to him, but that wasn't the problem, plus it didn't feel like Shiro was dead. He couldn't explain it.

Apparently, he'd started to pummel the other student, only for Iverson to pull him off. The student was fine, but insisting that he'd done nothing wrong.

Keith's entire leg twitched – he knew something had happened, or almost happened. The adults weren't saying anything, explaining what almost happened. Instead, they wanted him to explain. Iverson was in a foul mood, as right after the fight which he'd caused serious injury to the other kid, the man had found a girl in his office hacking his computers.

Keith couldn't speak, couldn't defend himself.

Both students were suspended, though Keith knew the guy had only touched him. Iverson said that while Keith wasn't getting expelled, he should pack up his things and decide if this was the place for him.

" _What's the fuck up with you getting me expelled, you little dipshit? I was only trying to comfort you and your ass because your boyfriend got killed._ "

Shiro wasn't his boyfriend, and he responded in kind.

" _Hell, he isn't. Not with how lovey dovey you two are._ "

He wanted to respond but remembered what Shiro said. " _If someone ever, ever bullies you online, then disconnect. Disconnect everything. It's not worth it._ "

So, he posted one last response on his garrison and gaming accounts. "KittyRose is saying goodbye."

It was based on a joke Shiro had taught him, that took him a long time to get.

He packed up his things, only one kid asking him why he was leaving, before packing his things up from Shiro's place.

The place in the desert which belonged to their dad, the dad they supposedly both shared, that seemed like the best place.


End file.
